Friday, September 7, 2012

An on again, off again affair.

Well, I'm back to it now. During the time away from my writing, I questioned myself constantly about my capability of completing this project. The longer away, the more I missed it and the more I wondered if it was just too great a feat for me to accomplish. I doubted myself and my writing, more often than I acknowledged, even to myself.
And now, here I sit, staring it all in the face and anxious to put that intimidating pen to paper. And I feel...good. I feel more ready than I did even before I decided to take the break. I don't know if I forgot I loved it so much as I let my love of it scare me off a bit. I've always felt that if I can't be great, if I can't produce something that truly relfects my care and dedication to the craft and evoke something real with my words, then I don't want to ruin this thing that I love. I don't want it to be mediocre and I, myself don't want to be ordinary.
However, today, in this moment, I don't give a damn. I just want to do what I love, even if I privately butcher the english language. For now, I will write. What? I'm not sure yet. Maybe something for the book, maybe part of another project, maybe a ten pages on whatever pops into my scattered little brain as it wanders-- I will simply write today and it's a beautiful thing.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Happy Stress is Stress, Nonetheless

     I've been so busy lately; which is to be expcected, with my wedding 3 months away, finals coming up and trying to buy a house. But the longer I go without writing, the more restless I become, wanting to spend a few hours--or even minutes, with the story I want to tell. Hopefully I'll have some of my inspiration left when things slow down again in the Fall, or maybe I should say "if", they slow down.
     For now though, I must settle for joting down a note or two here and there, while the majority of my energy and attention is focused elsewhere. I miss my characters-- creating them, shaping them, arguing with them in my own head. I'll get back to it, soon. And one day, hell, I may even finish the damn thing.
     Until then, I suppose...